Top Five New Year's Resolutions

Happy holidays, good people. I do so enjoy this time of year, which is fairly obvious to the 40-some people who receive holiday cards from me each year. I annually have carpal tunnel...

Anyway, it's time for New Year's Eve and New Year's festivities, of which I'm very stoked to participate in. Going with that are the daunting New Year's resolutions people choose in the coming days to guide their next 365-day venture. I thought I'd pick five for kicks, because knowing me I won't keep them, and I figure the more I pick the better my odds are that at least one will stick.

1. Read more. I don't know how this would be possible, but it's the only thing I really consistently like to do that isn't bad for me, so I figure the more the merrier. Maybe if I can start finishing books in 3-4 days rather than a week, I'll pull this off.

2. Stop typing "mute" when I mean "moot" in AIM conversations. My mother and boyfriend are spelling nazis who won't let it go, and it's the one spelling mistake I always make that I'm legitimately ashamed of.

3. Regain my athleticism. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm flabby, because I'm neither stupid nor narcissistic. But I would say I could use some preventative toning. It would be nice if my workout routines were substituted with more sports and weight lifting. Then I'd basically be my roommate in a nutshell. I guess at least I'll have one resolution staring me in the face each day.

4. Do not succumb to the draw of World of Warcraft. Some of you may not realize this, but I'm a gamer of sorts. My preferences lean towards fantasy games, which junior year of college led me into the world that is Warcraft. WoW is an evil, addictive, interactive game that sucks the life force and energy of all who play it. I used to play Dota (a modification) on weekends from 12 p.m. to 4 a.m. I believe I've kicked it and haven't played in months--it was making me tired once I started working here. I am determined not to relapse. Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to play just one game and stop. But let's not be hasty.

5. Teach Princeton not to be a bad puppy. That's actually not true; he's a very sweet, caring and attentive puggle pup. And he hasn't had an accident in a few days, and he hasn't chewed my headphones or my dress shoes in a few weeks. So now the question is... are there mystery poops I don't know about lurking under a table? Will this resolution make the best of me? Or will my roommate's dog's behavior mirror how unbearably cute he is? Time will tell...